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(1) And maybe this is why manga seems so stereotypical at times.
(2) “Tophatter” is a choreographed mid-air skirmish between two twelve man squadrons
of XO trainer fighters. It is a tremendous honor to be chosen to participate, and
first year students are rarely chosen. Eric participated in his first and only year at Soul’s Fire.
(3) One could make comparisons between this current student council
and an elite intelligence agency, but at the expense of one’s well-being.
(4) Being close to campus, Sanae’s Panera is a favorite amongst the students.
The bread there is delicious, and there’s a wide selection of drinks. It would be a
perfect little bakery except it is run by a grumpy old lady. Noda’s Note is a few
doors down, and it sells CDs (new and used) along with music supplies. Fia is a
regular customer there. It’s owned by a gorgeous and proper young widow who bathes
and showers everyday and surely doesn’t make strange noises.
(5) Well, at least what’s left of Welcome-san after the Carnozoid incident.
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Story 01: Miss Heart's ContentChapter 1 - "Absolutely Not!"It is undeniably spring. The flowers, the birds, the sunshine, and… achoo! The allergies. Spring also brings a ritual unique to the Heart’s Content campus: the Miss Heart’s Content competition. Since the founding of Heart’s Content, every spring the student council holds a contest to find the aspiring haremette on campus that most encompasses the spirit of the academy. What is the Heart’s Content academy? Every year thousands of new worlds are created for the purpose of providing stories for children and adults in another parallel universe. There are people in that parallel world who can bring out the stories and characters from this world with their pen and paper. For each and every one of these worlds, where do the characters that inhabit them come from? Campuses like Heart’s Content exist to train and prepare young men and women for their future roles, albeit a great lead action hero, a supporting friend, or goofy comedic relief. Heart’s Content’s mission is very specific; it is to train thousands of young women (and now, one man) how to be a model haremette for a world that resembles a love comedy or a drama. (1) So to find the student that best captures the spirit of Heart’s Content would be to find one who best exemplifies the values of a haremette’s charm. This year, for the Miss Heart’s Content pageant, Student Council President Michiru wants a production that will make the annual Soul’s Fire “Tophatter” XO flight show (2) seem slapdash in comparison. No one is safe. In addition to posters and ads in the school newspaper cajoling the haremettes of Heart’s Content to participate, the student council (3) is heavily recruiting any and all viable contestants. One of which, is not, Eric Johnson. Since after the cake-baking incident, Eric has been serving as an errand boy and gopher for the student council as his punishment. Today, he has a simple, well, maybe not that simple, task of convincing Fia to participate in the contest. “Oh Eric sweetie,” beamed Michiru yesterday afternoon, “I was thinking. Don’t you think it would be fantastic for the Miss Heart’s Content contest to feature a blissful violin sonata? I think it would be delightful.” When Michiru issues commands, it may seem like a happy, singing bluebird, but Eric knows that under that meido uniform lurks a spry hawk. Eric knew it would be hopeless to convince Michiru otherwise, and he knew that he would be cut-off. He still bravely marched to directly meet his fate, “I really hope you are not thinking of — " “Fia will be perfect. There is no other option. She will perform a violin sonata as her talent evaluation. It will be highly enjoyable to the crowd.” Eric expected that response. He also expected that serious and intent look from Michiru that he didn’t even bother thinking of challenging her again. He also knew from Michiru’s tone what awaited him if he failed. A brief memory of being in a tailspin when his trainer XO’s stabilizer gave out and plunged 2 kilometers through the atmosphere flashed through Eric’s mind. Somehow, it didn’t even seem a fraction as scary as Michiru’s eyes; however, both seemed less scary than Fia’s projected reaction: “Absolutely not.” To become Miss Heart’s Content, one must show one’s charms in talent, intellect, and beauty. The contest is usually a grand production, so the audience consists of more than just the student body. Many residents from Belle Trieste and past alumni also turn out for the event as well a sizeable media contingent. And that’s where the Fia issue comes in. It’s not that Fia has any general disagreement with Miss Heart’s Content—she happily enjoyed watching it her first year — it’s just that Fia gets extreme stage fright. That’s a strong phobia, and that’s why she’ll decline any invitation to participate. Back before Fia enrolled in Heart’s Content, she was in a magnet school for would-be haremettes. Because of her good grades and how the staff adored her, she was chosen to give a short commencement speech. Of course, with her shyness, she would never accept such an honor, but she didn’t need to: her parents agreed for her and gave her the “good” news later. Fia then had a “good” anxiety attack that night. One can imagine Fia’s trauma during that commencement speech, so to not further embarrass her, the details are skipped here, save that it was indeed a very traumatic experience. Well, today, Eric has the perfect plan. It’s unfathomable to approach Fia without a plan, and Eric is good at plans. At least he thinks so. And what is his plan for today? Beg Julie and Shao for their help. Julie, for one, was excited. “I'm competing too, and i'd be so much fun if Fia joined. I’ll definitely help you.” Shao’s a bit more skeptical, “Oh man, good luck getting Fia on stage. Short of drugs, hypnotism, and blackmail, there’s not a lot of options.” “Blackmail… ?” wonders Julie as she pictures herself holding hostage Fia’s favorite tea cup and cackling madly. The three are calmly sipping tea in the outside floral garden of Sanae’s Panera that lies on the Main Street that borders Heart’s Content’s campus. There are many colorful boutique shops that line this tree-lined street. Shao then sees a cat jump along the building tops, and it lands on Noda’s Note (4), the premier music supply store in Belle Trieste. “!!!” “Fia has a lot of pride in her violin playing ability. What if we taunt her with someone who could play it better?” Eric shoots down Shao’s brainstorm with his typical efficiency, “But there’s no violin virtuoso on campus besides Fia.” “Hehehe. Eric, you underestimate me. Let’s meet here again tomorrow at the same time, and I’ll bring you a violin virtuoso on par with Fia.” The next day, the group returns to Sanae’s Panera. Eric and Julie are already in line ordering. “One cup of jasmine tea and one coffee with a shot of vanilla.” As the cashier hands Eric back his debit card, Shao and Rie greet them with a hearty tap, a hardy smile, and a confident “Hello!” The four exchange greetings, get their drinks, and settle at the same table. A cup of jasmine tea, a coffee, an Italian soda, and an orange juice sit on the table. Rie then drops a violin case in the middle of the cups. “So, Rie is your virtuoso?” “Bzzzt. Wrong. Hehehe.” “Sorry, Eric, I’m not very good with any musical instrument. But I did write the open source sound drivers for Welcome-san (5),” adds Rie. Shao gets up, drops a blonde wig on Eric, and hands him a mirror. “You, my dear Eric, will be playing violin.” “...” “...” “!!!” “I don’t know how to play!” protests Eric. While being surprisingly and disturbingly good at many haremette tasks, Eric is not musically inclined. When he was growing up, Eric’s dad would love jamming out to some very bad rock and roll music whenever he piloted his mecha. Eric vowed that he would not become like his dad and has generally stayed away from music except for a few lessons from Fia. Cheesy lyrics like “never gonna give you up” just don’t appeal to Eric. Rie smiles warmly and opens the case revealing a very normal looking violin. Of course, since it’s Rie, it’s probably not a normal violin. That’s a given, much like how a meido bonnet is always gracing Julie’s hair. Rie hands the instrument to Eric and explains, “It’s my latest invention, Violin-XO. It’s a standard Strauss-class violin, but the bow/string interface has been slightly altered. It is now a way to input command codes, and the command codes generate sound from pico-scale devices hidden inside the violin chamber. The pico-scale sound system is virtually indistinguishable from a real Strauss-class violin. Of course, the genius is that the input command codes are the same as the XO trainer that Soul’s Fire uses.” “Here,” continues Rie as she hands Eric a score for Mozart’s Violin Sonata No. 1 in G minor, “all the traditional music notes have been replaced with input commands for the XO. Try it out.” She’s not kidding. All the playful and dancing notes and musical notation are gone, and, in their place, are binary XO command codes. “Each string is now representative of an XO...” as Rie continues her explanation of her Violin-XO system in gruesome detail. Eric is her sole audience as Shao and Julie break off and start talking about Julie’s outfits for Miss Heart’s Content. Eric’s not sure when he first developed an eye twitch, but he’s positive he never had one prior to meeting Shao and Rie. He takes a minute to scan through the score, cocks the violin, and then starts playing. It’s by no means perfect, but it’s harmonious and efficient-- not missing a beat or a note. Maybe Mozart didn’t intend for his violin sonata to be played liked piloting an XO into a Gai Subatmospheric Weave, but the music is flowing nicely from the violin. Eric seems like a natural. Other patrons of Sanae’s Panera take note of Eric’s performance and start to gawk. After Eric’s done and lowers the Violin-XO, he gets a sporadic and spontaneous applause. “I really outdid myself this time,” shines Rie. Julie takes a sip of her tea, lost in thought over how great Eric’s playing was. “Eric, you were great!” “I... I dunno. Fia will see through this ploy almost immediately. She knows I suck musically. Wouldn't it be suspicious if I could suddenly play well?” counters Eric. Shao continues explaining the other half of the plan, “Eric, we all know that if you suddenly became a violin virtuoso, Fia would be very suspicious. That part is obvious, and that’s why Heart’s Content first year student Erica will be playing the Violin-XO.” It takes roughly three milliseconds for Eric to understand the gravity of the situation, “Absolutely not.” “Are you sure you want to go back to Michiru with that answer?” “...” “...” “...” “Absolutely not...” answers Eric, deflatedly. “We don’t have to go with Erica. Fia’s probably smart enough to see through that too. Okay, it’s settled, and I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, Sarah.”  “Sarah... ? That’s so cute! That’s so you!” cutely squeaks Julie. “...” “How is that so ‘me’?!” Only thoughts of doom and despair pass through Eric’s mind, but it doesn’t take long for him to form a very unforgiving image of Michiru after he tells her that Fia won’t be participating. Let’s just say that despair and doom only begin to describe the image. And those are the happier components. Eric sighs, puts the Violin-XO back into its case, finishes his coffee, and says, “I still don’t see how this will get Fia to participate.” “I have a plan for that too,” says Shao with a very unassuring wink. Eric sighs, gets up from the table, and announces, “Excuse me. Looks like I have a lot of practicing to do.” Continue |
